Gelske Coppelmans

Gelske Coppelmans

@orangeswan168865 · Jan 12, 2026

How it felt being a people-pleaser

I want to share my experience with being a people-pleaser around some communities that came into my life, as if by force... and refused to allow me to speak.
When I finally did speak, life became chaos.
I feel like I was being externally manipulated and socially coerced into being a musician. I wound up losing everything; friends, family, community, financial support and resources... just saying, “NO” to having my own kids, boats, sports, drums, pianos, guitars, violent sex, alcohol and other substances.
...just because I finally found some small breath of my own voice saying, “this is who I am” in a cartoonish voice with a camera in my hand.
I finally shared my values and the world and its inner-workings said, “fuck you.” Some of the manipulation found ways of saying, “you’re lying,” “shut up,” “be like us.” The worst is willing to say, “you don’t like you,” “you’ll like being us.”
I feel like I lost my soul, because the one that found me... or claimed me, wasn't mine.

Gelske Coppelmans

@orangeswan168865 · Jan 11, 2026

CMV: Purpose and Meaning are not important at all, and a desperate need to find either is generally a sign of low self w

I think human life is inherently "worth it", it needs no greater explanation. Your particular life doesn't need purpose or meaning, neither does humanity as a whole. Some people just need it to feel better about themselves because they don't value themselves just for existing.
My reason for this is mainly anecdotal. The only people I've ever seen who work to find purpose and meaning don't think life is enough as it is and are unhappy about it. There is also a lot of virtue signaling when people say something gives them purpose.
Lastly, I think life is beautiful as it is. It can be hard and crazy and exhilarating and mind numbing dull and horrible. And every single person is living a completely unique experience and story that never existed and never will exist again. I just think life IS the whole point. Everything else feels like a bit of a circle jerk.

Gelske Coppelmans

@orangeswan168865 · Jan 10, 2026

im 18 and ive come decently close to dying 4 if not 5 times

i choked badly twice as a kid, almost drowned twice (once at about 10, the other at 15), and one time i was practicing pole dancing and the entire pole came down on me from the ceiling (mind you about 20lbs of metal PLUS my bodyweight) and i almost went out a second story window. also couldve easily hit me on the head but luckily it landed inches away from the window and only landed on my left forearm (which was injured but surprisingly not broken). i even have the pole incident on camera. my life is like a reverse final destination movie

Gelske Coppelmans

@orangeswan168865 · Jan 10, 2026

I'm actually getting afraid to express my beliefs publicly. Never felt this way as an American before

I am feeling actually scared to hold any leftist or progressive beliefs. I never felt this way so much in the United States until now. People would give you shit sure and you wouldn't take about it at work or polite company, but I was never scared of violence or legal repercussions for my political beliefs until now.
This regime and its various goon squads have expressed clearly that leftist or progressive beliefs even basic stances on human rights are NOT acceptable, and you can even be punished, hurt or killed for holding those political beliefs. It's very scary and screams authoritarian regime.
Should I be censoring myself now? Do I have to worry about targeted surveillance? My voting records are already accessible, so are social media posts expressing support for progressive politics. Now I'm terrified that they have some kind of profile on me and if I don't shut up I could be disappeared eventually too. I never actually worried about what I said so much, to the point that I am scared to discuss politics anywhere, ever, even in private with friends and allies.
And to these people, being LGTBQIA+ and being leftist are basically the same, so even my loved ones who are gay, nonbin

Gelske Coppelmans

@orangeswan168865 · Jan 10, 2026

How to get over the crippling shame of embarassing myself infront of a guy I liked?

Talked to a guy for like, 2 weeks. We talked a lott during the day when we talked, and I had such a good time texing him. Didn't texted him afterwards for a week or so. he came back from the army and said 'you forgot about me'. My friend cancelled on me so we met. I was so attracted to him, and didnt sleep w anyone for like a year lol, so we had sex. Afterwards he stayed and we basically talked all night until he had to leave. Fast forwards to the next day, I texted him. Didn't even open my message. After two days I wrote him "you could've least said if you weren't interested in me, I don't understand why would you act in such a disrespectful way" didn't open that either lol. Didn't wrote him anything since then. A week later, he BLOCKED ME. it literally ate me from the inside for like, two months. two months later he texted "I keep seeing u on insta. Nonstop so thought I would check in ask how ur doing" "Even tho u think im an ass hole feel free to text me whenever u need. For anything"
It was clear to me that he wanted another round, and thought that I'd agree.
I'm not from a secular household; I just moved out of my house to try and experience the secular world. Didn’t really un