Violetta Schütte

Violetta Schütte

@blacklion768432 · Jan 10, 2026

I realized that i have never talked to a girl except my mom

Okay, so I guess I am too young for this subreddit (M18), but I recently realized that I have had zero female interaction in my life, leaving my mum out of that.
i thought thats ok as i always studied in a boarding school (no, teachers dont count) and i realized thats i cant talk to them
i mean it when i say that iCAN'T i mean it. It's difficult as I have no prior experience and no way to reach out.
I do no tuition whatsoever, so i cant communicate there.
i guess i have to start with online chats first.
what should i do + tips and someone to help 🙃

Violetta Schütte

@blacklion768432 · Jan 10, 2026

Weird / wonderful experience with music

I'm 31 and I've been casually listening to music my whole life, occasionally I would be moved, but usually it was background noise. For the last couple months I've been listening to music, actively, with my full focus.
I have what is diagnosed as overactive bladder, so that all the time, to varying degrees of intensity it feels like I need to pee, I have a hard time handling it, there is a constant single in my brain telling me something is wrong.
I was listening to dvorak's 6th symphony and in discomfort and instead of thinking of the notes as something separate from me I began to think of them as part of an entire moment, the notes and my body forming one unit. And , for the first time in a long time, I didn't think of my body as "wrong", my body and the notes were the same thing, and the notes were beautiful so I was beautiful, I wasn't wrong. And I wept. It only lasted a few minutes and I don't expect to replicate a feeling that intense, but it was amazing to feel that way for a bit.
I was sober btw

Violetta Schütte

@blacklion768432 · Jan 10, 2026

17F I have a really good life so why do I still feel so bad?

My family adores me, I have good friends, I have always been a #1 student, I have never had any money issues in my life (God my family can afford to pay a private college for me and still live normally) so I don’t understand why I always feel so bad and depressed when some of my friends have worse problems than me
But I just can’t stop crying in the night or feeling empty and how much I’m going to waste my life and end up miserable and I already hate myself and my face and everything about me and even though I go to college it wasn’t in a degree I wanted, and I wanted to have a happy life with a husband and kids but even that idea has been disgusting me and it looks impossible for me
So now I end up pretending I’m happy and just bottling up my feelings when I’m actually depressed for being sad because I have no excuse to feel bad for anything
I hate this