Feeling lost in life
I'm returning to university after a year's break due to mental health issues. It should be a positive thing, but I no longer have any interest or motivation to study academically. When I started my studies several years ago, I actually enjoyed it, but now it's like all that has disappeared. Nothing about university feels interesting anymore. I feel completely lost. I've tried to apply to other universities in the past, but I wasn't successful and also didn't know what I was looking for. I don't know what's wrong, should I just force myself through university or find something else to do? Finding a simple job doesn't actually sound so bad at the moment, but everyone in my family says that I should invest in my education and get a degree. But it's probably true as others say, that a job without higher education doesn't provide high income. Not sure why I'm writing this, maybe to get some new perspectives. Thank you for reading.
Norbert Baran
@angryostrich573990
Norbert aus Spijk Gld, liebt Live-Musik in der Stadt, frische Ideen für Communities, immer bereit für neue Kontakte.
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I hate my father and it is eating me up inside.
My dad is an alcoholic. Always has been and seemingly always will be. I’m 17. He’s done this my entire life.
My earliest memory of him is me asking him to play with me, I was probably like 6 years old and him slurring his words and telling me he will play tomorrow. And he didn’t. I have so many memories of him not following up on things, disrespecting me and blowing off how his drinking truly affected my entire childhood.
I shouldn’t have to have memories of my dad drunkly falling twice. I shouldn’t know exactly what kind of alcohol my father gets drunk on. I shouldn’t step into a room and see a trash bag completely full of shot bottles. I shouldn’t have memories of me being little and putting cardboard shot sleeves on my legs and arms, pretending they were casts. I shouldn’t have these memories and experiences and I fucking hate my dad for putting me through them.
I hate him. And saying it feels healing but I feel so fucking guilty for it. I’ve tried giving him chances, I’ve tried convincing myself everything he does doesn’t bother me. But everything he does disrespects me. He’s a piece of shit and I act very differently with him. I’m cold. I’m distant. I’m annoyed. I give short a
My life is a mess and I can't picture myself growing old
TW: Addiction and Suicide
As I've gotten older I realise more and more how damaging my childhood was. My dad was struggling with addiction (still is but its way worse) and didn't supported the family financially, and made it worse by getting us in growing debt. My mum worked minimum wage jobs to support us but we always struggled financially. From fear of the community and the need to hide all these secrets we grew up quite isolated. My dads addiction caused alot of problems which from a young age I witnessed first hand and become entangled in.
Many dramatic, emotionally manipulative and stressful events happened growing up. I realise now that this started off my health issues when I was very young and alot of my issues can be traced back to stress. I didn't realise how traumatised I was of men until I was sat with someone (T) I trust and became very anxious that he was going to hit me because he was silent and fixing something that wasn't working. I realised I am constantly on edge and hyperaware of peoples feelings and any subtle indications of a change in tone or emotion to this day. I tried to end things at 18 and was diagnosed with depression at 19.
We are a very traditional c
I think someone is putting a spell on my mom. What should I do?
My mom got out of a toxic relationship a while ago, but since then, many strange and unfortunate coincidences have occurred. Things disappear from the house even though we all remember seeing them in certain places. She's developed bruises and red spots all over her body. She's lost a lot of weight very quickly. You might think that's not so strange, but it gets worse. Every person who has come to help her move on has had terrible things happen to them. One of them got leukemia and had to leave my mom, saying he didn't want to cause her any more harm. My mom's cousin sent her a message at Christmas when she was alone because I was with my dad, and he specifically asked her to read the messages he sent her, but he couldn't send them because he literally died very soon after; he was hit by a train. I'm scared. I don't want anything bad to happen to my mom, me, or my family. Please help me figure out what to do.
I'm a very attention seeking, self destructive person I think
I have bipolar disorder to start this off, I have other mental problems other than that but thats the main one that kinda controls my life. Lol. I'm a female and a lesbian so that just makes shit harder. My mom thinks im in a manic episode right now, which I hate to even admit because I do feel on top of the world in a way and it almost feels like invalidating to say its just because of my mental disorder. But yeah...Ive been like sleeping around I guess, with people who are way too old for me, ive been lashing out and made a plan to move away to a different state with my dad impulsively. I constantly display my pain and body for the world to see because I do in fact like and seek attention unfortunately. I steal, I smoke weed, I have encounters with people who dont even really like me. Its not even like I enjoy doing harmful shit to myself but its the only thing that makes me feel alive yknow? I dont know what the point of this post is, just wanted to let my thoughts out I guess.
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