Hazel Green

Hazel Green

@tinybird722114 · Jan 10, 2026

I slept with a girl a decade younger than me just to feel powerful, and ruined my life in the process.

I'd say I'm a succesful writer. But that would be giving my ego one last stroke to my ego to close off yesterday's night of consecutive, stronger and louder inflations of my fragile perception of self. Truthfully, I only ever wrote one good book that did pretty well, and earned me enough money to become a high stakes investor.
As a kid, I grew up seeing those in positions of power with a perpetual sneer on my face. To me, this people have always been a whole different human race. The way they breed selectively, the look in their eyes as if they knew they are better than you, and all of the disgusting experiences I had with them when working as a nightclub waiter. It made my stomach coil and roar over the nothingness that followed my humble begginings.
Sooner than I could perceive, I found myself selling and buying businesses and exploiting the very foundings of the system. I found myself earning money out of debt, and then I felt the pride that came with that. I felt my chest pop out when my head wandered to earnings as I heard words like debt, or rent, or salaries; when to my mother and my father, this words meant nothing but dread.
Today, well, yesterday (when you don't sleep a n

Hazel Green

@tinybird722114 · Jan 10, 2026

Reached a long term goal, now I’m there I’m wondering if it’s what I really wanted.

I had been trying to land a specific job in a specific industry for a long time, it was incredibly hard to get the job I wanted and I was convinced it would make me happy.
I felt elated to get the offer, but as my start date inched closer I got gradually less excited, and now I’m at the job I don’t feel motivated or excited much, if not at all. The earning potential is great, the hours will get better etc etc, this isn’t a dead end job, I feel I should be excited now I’m finally where I want to be.
I’ve long been someone motivated by proving to myself that I’m good enough for something and I’m wondering if my motivation to break into this industry was really just to prove to myself that I’m good enough and not that I really wanted the job.
Anyone else dealt with this at all and how did you deal with it?