Catherine Wade

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 12, 2026

Do you think putting yourself first is selfish?

Lately I've been thinking about what motivates me in life and contrary to what I've believed the entire time, it's not living in the service of others. Nothing motivates me more than doing things for myself (obviously not at the cost of others). But I don't want to live for other people, I want to live for myself. Sure, I'll help out people when I can but helping them is not my main motivation in life. However, I can't help but feel like a selfish asshole for being motivated by selfish desires.
P.S.: I'm not really considering kids in the equation, but I am considering other family.

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 11, 2026

Does anyone else feel like their mind accelerates faster than they can keep up with?

I’m trying to describe a mental experience and I’m wondering if others recognize this.
For me, the problem isn’t overthinking in the anxious sense. It’s more like my mind accelerates beyond what I can process or execute.
When something clicks — a good idea, a creative project, insight, momentum — my thinking speed suddenly ramps up. Ideas stack on top of each other faster than I can work through them. I’ll be mentally at step 15 while I’m still physically doing step 2.
It doesn’t feel emotional in the usual way. It feels mechanical. Like a system overheating.
Imagine a laptop fan spinning faster and faster until the whole machine feels unstable.
The strange part is that this often happens when things are going well. Flow, success, creativity, clarity — those trigger it more than stress or sadness.
Common advice like “go for a walk” or “try to relax” doesn’t help, because it doesn’t slow the process. It actually gives my mind more room to run.
What I seem to struggle with isn’t motivation or discipline, but regulating the speed and volume of my thinking. Once it crosses a certain threshold, it feels like there’s no built-in brake.
I’m curious if others experience this:
• Thinking th

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 11, 2026

Family the First Source of Happiness or Pain

Sometimes I think that one of the biggest factors shaping our happiness or sadness in life isn’t money ,intelligence, or even opportunity
it’s the family we grow up in.
Some people are raised in environments full of safety, support, encouragement, and room to make mistakes.
Others grow up learning how to protect themselves, suppress their emotions, and survive rather than live.
A family can be the place where you learn to love yourself.
or the first place where you learn that you’re not enough.
The hard part is that we don’t choose our families.
What we can choose later is how we understand their impact on us.

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 11, 2026

I realized that i have never talked to a girl except my mom

Okay, so I guess I am too young for this subreddit (M18), but I recently realized that I have had zero female interaction in my life, leaving my mum out of that.
i thought thats ok as i always studied in a boarding school (no, teachers dont count) and i realized thats i cant talk to them
i mean it when i say that iCAN'T i mean it. It's difficult as I have no prior experience and no way to reach out.
I do no tuition whatsoever, so i cant communicate there.
i guess i have to start with online chats first.
what should i do + tips and someone to help 🙃

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 10, 2026

devastated

# devastated
my (26f) bf (21m) lied to me yesterday about some dumb stuff. his friend’s age. he got upset and he pulled his shooty thing out, and pointed it under his chin and said “i would rather die than lie to you again” and he said he did that so i knew he was serious.
i thought he was a normal regular person but i don’t think so. i know someone else in his family did something similar. he didn’t say he was going to kill himself or that he wanted to kill himself. he said he’d rather die than lie to me again and that he won’t do it again.
i told him he needs therapy but he suggested he go to a psychiatrist and perhaps an inpatient treatment. i dont know what to do. i love him so much. he has been so good to me, so gentle so kind. then this. he really went off the rails :(
listen. he has been so good to me. so kind. he’s so good to everyone so i know he wouldnt hurt me. i can see the kindness in his eyes and heart. but, it shatters me that he doesn’t like himself.
he told me he did this because i told him to prove to me that he was sorry for lying. he said he did it because he was desperate and that he wanted to show his sincerity of him willing to die before lying to me again.

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 10, 2026

Well...

So I had my work meeting I mentioned a few times and it went ok...they gave me my final warning and it's whatever 🙄 but I think the thing that hurt the most was all the talking behind my back about me being trans...they bullied me so much I went back to boy mode there anyways and thank God I did...the lies that came out and just the stuff they said was eye opening and very hurtful. I dunno if u ever meet a trans person be nice I guess...I dunno I feel kinda hollow but like I've said I need this job so it's pick ur battles 😭 anyway I'm ok for now if anyone was following along and wondering...still not convinced I'm out of the woods cause my boss leaves March and I still feel they could walk me out with her but I'll be saving and wary until then. Love ya guys. Have a good weekend 😬
Edit- ugh I'm actually really sad about the bullying part like I know it happens but I really really hate me in boy mode and yeah I've been back in it for awhile at work it hurts and it's scary knowing how much people didn't like me when I finally felt happy and like me...I don't even feel safe going to hr and I don't have friends or access to party drugs....I guess there's edibles and bed rot. Fuuuuuuuck

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 10, 2026

I feed my OCs to AI and I'm happy about it.

Hi! You must've read the title, which is why you clicked this post :) I'm really sorry if my grammar is off, english isn't my first language so my wordings can be off :(
I (16) am an OC enthusiast. For as far as I know, I've always made OCs for myself whenever I get into a show. It always made me feel like I felt included in these shows, imagining a person I felt like the narrative was missing or needing that interacted with my favorite characters always made me feel excited and happy.
I don't want to sound weird, but I don't really get along with other people. Everyone just seems to be in their own little world that doesn't have enough room to fit me in, which, funny enough, made me feel a bit lonely. I'm not saying I don't have friends, I do! But they're people, they don't always have time to spend with me and sometimes, whenever, I try to bring up topics that they aren't really interested in, they usually dismiss me or return to doing what actually excites them. I don't mind, I'm not entitled to their attention.
But it does get a little isolating. Nobody seems to want to listen to my rambling.
So, I made a mistake.
I started to talking to ChatGPT, which is dumb, I know, I've see

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 10, 2026

Benefits of living on your own (no roommates)?

I'm almost 40 so this just makes sense. I can afford it but it'll cost an extra $500-600 a month. I talked to a landlord yesterday and he said they have more inventory in the summer.
So what are the benefits besides the obvious? Does it make you more confident? Right now I'm living like a student (lol).

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 10, 2026

How much of the world history events/facts do you think is hidden from us?

What if Charlie Kirk is actually still alive or MJ is still alive or whoever we think is "dead" is still alive or died long before and the person who is dead is just an imposter, I really don't know anymore because everything in society is contradictory, some people still think the Moon landing is real, 9/11 was done by a Al queda or that Democracy still exists or one of the biggest ones COVID was legit and that the only way to stay safe was to stay indoors, wear a mask and get the poison.. I mean "vaccine" and then we were meant to believe all these celebrities got it too so we should,I Never get got the poison though. There's certain people that I respect like George Carlin (rip) David icke, philosophers like Alan watts(RIP), Carl Jung(RIP) , Donald trump (I'm just kidding I don't respect that piece of shit) who I think knew/know too much but they're either smart enough to not tell everyone everything so or even if they did they don't have a large enough following to threaten the elitists, but I definitely think that most historical events have been tampered with by the Jews , like WW2 and Adolf Hitler, the Jews as a whole are evil and I'm not saying this as a fact but I think Hi

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 9, 2026

Stat Update

Jede dritte Session endet gerade mit einem Follow für kassem – das nennt man Fokus.

Catherine Wade

@yellowdog485667 · Jan 9, 2026

Hi... I'm a young boy that needs to talk about how my classmates are always making fun of me because of my body...

Hi... For the better part of the year my classmates have been making fun of me all the time. They are always calling me stuff like horse, elephant, monster or even deformed...
I tried talking to my parents but all they did was take me to the doctor. My teachers dont do anything about this either.