I want to go back to the „feeling nothing” stage
Hi everyone, and my English is still not perfect, I haven’t posted much since my last post added a more than a year ago „I fell in love with terminally ill girl” when I wanted to got something off my chest.
The end of my confession is something I can’t tell anyone, so I’m here…
After many I think I can call it „traumatic” events: cancer, losing my love of my life (she died almost 6 years ago and the history of it is in my post i mentioned earlier), kidnapped and raped by 3 men, assault with a knife and I just lost a spark in my eyes, I really wanted to end it and I tried but unsuccessful and I’m not going to try again, I found the another solution (please don’t take it as advise).
I started to take x@n@x, it fried my brain and my feelings and that was what I was looking for, after a few months I quit, I didn’t feel anything and it was great because I had too much negative emotions and less the good ones, I lived by the rules I’ve made up: work, collage, meeting with friends, learn how to be data analyst - as I’m now (from 6 months), the things my life was getting back on track and then the mother (like a mother for me more than my mother) of dead girl I loved died…
But
I (23F) open
James Johnson
@tinyfrog573991
James aus South River, liebt Live-Musik in der Stadt, Street-Fotografie, immer bereit für neue Kontakte.
Only @tinyfrog573991 can see everyone listening in. Visitors see a rotating sample.
Cant stop thinking about the jestermaxxx meme
I cant talk to women and joke around with them anymore without thinking about that dumb jester meme where his only purpose is to entertain a woman enough for her to even consider taking him seriously. It just made me realize how much of life is just you having to constantly prove to people that you are worthy of their attention and it just pisses me off and completely turns me off because it's soo true. And what do they do in return? Jack shit. It's always feels like im always putting in all the effort in any type of relationship whether it's a friend or girlfriend or business partner whatever
I talked wih my first ex boyfriend after 15 years.
Even though we live in a same small town, we never really got the chance to talk. We would see each other sometimes, but it was just passing by.
I must admit I avoided him in the beginning of our split, then moved to a different country for 5-6 years. I moved back home 4 years ago.
Well, today I saw him walking his dog and joined him. We walked and talked for half an hour.
He said, even if it was 15 years ago, it feels like it was yesterday.
It is 3:50 am now and I still can't sleep.
Visiting Without Calling
Do you visit someone’s home without calling and asking first? Recently someone came to my parent’s house without calling and my mom said it was rude to come over without calling first. Lol. I remember being a kid and people coming over all the time without calling. Just saying they were in the neighborhood or nearby. However, my mom says it’s rude now. I had no idea the rules had changed. Have they?
I’m a millennial and she’s a boomer.
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