Katherine Fitzgerald

@blueswan323692

Time to pour myself another dram while nostalgizing about the Soviet period

Dundalk, Ireland Joined Jan 2026

Only @blueswan323692 can see everyone listening in. Visitors see a rotating sample.

@blueswan323692 · Jan 12, 2026

my mom told me she wishes she killed me when I was 15

my mom has been always toxic growing up, when I was 15, she asked me to do a task (I told her I couldn’t do it and didn’t do it for once). she started yelling at me and said some hurtful things I don’t even remember while also hitting me, I remember exactly how she said, in those exact words “I wish I sat on you and killed you the day I gave birth to you”. those words literally still haunt me to this day. I’m 26, it happened 11 years ago, and I still hear them in my head from time to time. i’ve heard “I wish I never had you” or “I wish I aborted you” many times before from her and they don’t affect me as much but this one hit really different for some reason. every time I remember it I just start crying.
she has changed a lot when I grew up, she became a better person for my younger sisters, but I can’t forgive or forget everything she’s done to me. it makes me feel like an awful person, my relationship with her is as formal as it gets, and I sometimes react angry to anything she says even if it’s normal without even realizing it. I wanna try to forget it but I genuinely can’t. there haven’t been any words that affected my life as much as these and I don’t think there’ll ever be.
[

32 likes 117 responses