Fred Morris

Fred Morris

@tinytiger270716 · Jan 12, 2026

TW: SA, victim blaming

a year ago, I was raped by a guy I went on a date with. It wasn’t mutual feelings just a casual date. I don’t remember all the details anymore, or my brain chose not to. what I do remember is freezing. I was crying, couldn’t move, and even when I had chances to run or scream, I didn’t. I froze out of fear.
what confuses me is that the rape itself isn’t what causes the worst relapses.
what always triggers me is the OB-GYN visit after.
she didn’t believe me. she shamed me. she asked, “Why were you in the car with him in the first place?” and “Why didn’t you run when he had a phone call?” even after she saw an abrasion inside me (the pain i felt while she was doing internal exam inside me, the pain where she inserted the speculum inside me was more painful than the rapist’s dick). that moment hurt in a way I still can’t explain. that’s where everything crashes back in.
I also get triggered thinking about how alone I was.
at 19, I had to go to an OB-GYN alone to collect proof.
at 19, I had to walk into a police station and explain what happened to me.
a 19, I had to look for a lawyer I couldn’t afford while the man who raped me comes from a politically connected family.
the police were