Donna Bowman

Donna Bowman

@sadswan843449 · Jan 12, 2026

Insecurity is killing me

I’m a 20-year-old guy and I’ve always been deeply insecure — about my looks and about my success. It’s gotten so bad that I dread even going to the grocery store, because I feel so ugly and inferior just being around other people. No matter how many compliments I get from my partner, it never feels like enough. It only takes seeing one guy who looks better than me to completely ruin my day.
The same thing happens with success, but even worse. I just saw a Reddit post about dude a bit older than me who bought a really nice home from his parents at a big discount. Meanwhile, I live in a modest government-subsidized apartment with my partner, and I pay my share using benefits. Every time I see someone close to my age doing well, I immediately feel like a failure. I shut down and start hating myself. It’s exhausting.
Right now I’m unemployed. I have diagnosed depression and I’m waiting to be evaluated for ADHD. I’m not in school yet, but I’m trying to get into law school. Objectively, I know I’m not completely unlucky — my parents give me €100 a month and pay my phone bill, and my partner’s dad gave us a car and maintains it for free. I know I should be grateful for those things. But e