#Triggerwarning MY VIVID LIFE and struggles.. idk how i survived
I don't know how much to write, but I could just tell that it's been a very painful life for me, I am only 23. I have experienced multiple forms of trauma, events, and disorders, I found it extremely difficult to have made it here. I think of myself as a kind, good person, and empathetic.
So how do I start? Let me go chronologically...
I had a marked change in my behaviour from about my 8th standard, I was around 13 i guess. by the age of 12 I had realised that there was something different with me, I was inclined towards boys, and I couldn't make sense of it. Before that I do not have any bad memories as such except of being bullied which was tolerable. ( a close cousin had committed suicide in this period), my parents had great fights and verbal arguments, my mother was suicidal and I came home to her crying always or looking at her sad phase, or went school to get bullied. I had my only girlfriend, my best friend of 4 years that I fell in love with, there were issues and it was on and off but it was my only solace.
By the 9th standard I became socially anxious - my hands would sweat, I wouldn't get up from the chair until the end of the school, I would worry that others are look
Reaction: Speaking as a Brit, she definitely wasn't the main reason
Without overthinking it, there’s a lot said here but not much clarified which is why the comments look the way they do This could age very differently in a week.
Reaction: Me irl
this feels more about execution than intent and that’s why this won’t land the same for everyone
It's remarkable that you've recognized the depth of your struggles at such a young age. Many people don't confront their pain until much later, and sharing your experiences can be powerful. Holding onto that awareness may guide you toward healing and understanding. Keep going.
Reaction: New year resolution
Reaction: New year resolution