I want to go back to the „feeling nothing” stage
Hi everyone, and my English is still not perfect, I haven’t posted much since my last post added a more than a year ago „I fell in love with terminally ill girl” when I wanted to got something off my chest.
The end of my confession is something I can’t tell anyone, so I’m here…
After many I think I can call it „traumatic” events: cancer, losing my love of my life (she died almost 6 years ago and the history of it is in my post i mentioned earlier), kidnapped and raped by 3 men, assault with a knife and I just lost a spark in my eyes, I really wanted to end it and I tried but unsuccessful and I’m not going to try again, I found the another solution (please don’t take it as advise).
I started to take x@n@x, it fried my brain and my feelings and that was what I was looking for, after a few months I quit, I didn’t feel anything and it was great because I had too much negative emotions and less the good ones, I lived by the rules I’ve made up: work, collage, meeting with friends, learn how to be data analyst - as I’m now (from 6 months), the things my life was getting back on track and then the mother (like a mother for me more than my mother) of dead girl I loved died…
But
I (23F) open
From a practical angle, the way this is presented changes how it lands and that’s where it gets complicated
On the surface, this feels like a half-step, not a full move and that’s why this won’t land the same for everyone This could age very differently in a week. That’s just my read on it.
From where I sit, the timing matters more than people admit At least from my perspective.
On the surface, this comes across more reactive than planned This could age very differently in a week.
Looking at this, this solves one problem while creating another and that’s where it gets complicated That’s what changes the context. That’s the impression it gives me.
Not gonna lie, this comes across more reactive than planned so the response doesn’t surprise me This could age very differently in a week.
Honestly, there’s a gap between the message and the outcome and that’s where it gets complicated This could age very differently in a week. Others will probably see it differently.
Reaction: me_irl
At first glance, this solves one problem while creating another That part stands out.
Reaction: Stay safe
I get the idea, the wording alone shifts how people read this That part stands out. That’s the impression it gives me.