I want to be better
I want to be a better person. I put a lot of value on my ability to be perceived as nice and kind, but when I'm worn down I have a propensity to just snap. The last few relationships and situationships I've had have ended irredeemably because I either snapped at the person when I perceived they were treating me badly for a while or I had a breakdown because I put them on an emotional pedestal and things weren't going the way I wanted them to or they pulled back from me. I really want to stop this, I can't place kindness and niceness as core parts of my identity and then abandon them when things are hard or I don't get my way, that just makes me a hypocrite.
I do have several mitigating factors, I am very mentally ill and have a long history of abandonment and trauma, but these things aren't excuses, and as much as being sick makes my behaviour understandable, it doesn't excuse it or mean that I can't control my actions.
I want to do better but I don't know how. I think I'm going to stop trying to date people for a while. I'm scared because I'm 25 and I really want to have kids, and it feels like I won't be able to have them within my ideal timeframe if I do stop trying and I don't
Without overthinking it, this solves one problem while creating another which explains why reactions are split Not convinced this is settled yet.
Reaction: It makes a huge difference.
Stepping back, this feels rushed rather than thought through
At this point, the main issue seems to be how this is handled Could be wrong, but that’s how it comes across.
If we’re being honest, the follow-through is what will decide this and that tension shows up immediately At least from my perspective.
this reads stronger on paper than in practice and that’s where people will push back
Stepping back, this comes across more reactive than planned That’s the key detail here.
Reaction: me_irl
this comes across more reactive than planned and that’s where the disagreement starts That’s the impression it gives me.
the intention might be solid, the rollout less so which explains why reactions are split That’s the key detail here. Let’s see what happens next. That’s just my read on it.
Reaction: me_irl
Reaction: me irl
Reaction: Its been 3 years since I last saw morning
Real talk, the idea isn’t bad, but the delivery is doing damage which is why the comments look the way they do That part stands out. Time will tell.