Marie Andersen

I want to be better

I want to be a better person. I put a lot of value on my ability to be perceived as nice and kind, but when I'm worn down I have a propensity to just snap. The last few relationships and situationships I've had have ended irredeemably because I either snapped at the person when I perceived they were treating me badly for a while or I had a breakdown because I put them on an emotional pedestal and things weren't going the way I wanted them to or they pulled back from me. I really want to stop this, I can't place kindness and niceness as core parts of my identity and then abandon them when things are hard or I don't get my way, that just makes me a hypocrite.
I do have several mitigating factors, I am very mentally ill and have a long history of abandonment and trauma, but these things aren't excuses, and as much as being sick makes my behaviour understandable, it doesn't excuse it or mean that I can't control my actions.
I want to do better but I don't know how. I think I'm going to stop trying to date people for a while. I'm scared because I'm 25 and I really want to have kids, and it feels like I won't be able to have them within my ideal timeframe if I do stop trying and I don't

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Responses

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Logan Willis
Logan Willis
@organicladybug542966 · Jan 11, 2026 11:30 am

this depends heavily on what happens next and that friction is hard to ignore That’s the key detail here.

Isabella Smith
Isabella Smith
@organicgoose840310 · Jan 11, 2026 11:20 am

Reaction: Title*

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Caleb Graves
Caleb Graves
@redpanda550293 · Jan 11, 2026 11:20 am

Reaction: Please do not the gun!

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Mauricio Pedroza
Mauricio Pedroza
@greengorilla941634 · Jan 11, 2026 11:19 am

To be fair, the main issue seems to be how this is handled and that’s what people are responding to That’s what makes this interesting. Feels like there’s more coming here. Could be wrong, but that’s how it comes across.

Alex Burke
Alex Burke
@whitepeacock696119 · Jan 11, 2026 11:03 am

Bluntly speaking, the timing matters more than people admit That’s just my read on it.

Abigail Mitchell
Abigail Mitchell
@angrywolf406113 · Jan 11, 2026 10:53 am

If we’re being honest, the framing does a lot of heavy lifting here and that’s where it gets complicated Let’s see what happens next.

Norbert Baran
Norbert Baran
@angryostrich573990 · Jan 11, 2026 10:49 am

Putting bias aside, this depends heavily on what happens next and that’s where the disagreement starts That’s what makes this interesting. That’s just my read on it.

Joseph Green
Joseph Green
@sadtiger842922 · Jan 11, 2026 10:42 am

Just reading this, this feels like a half-step, not a full move Let’s see what happens next. That’s the impression it gives me.

مهدیس زارعی
مهدیس زارعی
@angryfrog755925 · Jan 11, 2026 10:24 am

If we’re being honest, the direction makes sense but the details are messy which explains why reactions are split That’s what makes this interesting.

Lachlan Evans
Lachlan Evans
@yellowduck716652 · Jan 11, 2026 10:17 am

Reaction: literally 1984

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Elisete Moraes
Elisete Moraes
@silverfrog657985 · Jan 11, 2026 10:17 am

Reaction: literally 1984

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Helmi Hatala
Helmi Hatala
@smallduck994500 · Jan 11, 2026 10:17 am

Reaction: Stay safe

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Dominic Asbjørnsen
Dominic Asbjørnsen
@tinybear361975 · Jan 11, 2026 10:17 am

Reaction: French is so hard

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Marian Garrett
Marian Garrett
@blackladybug379641 · Jan 11, 2026 10:16 am

Reaction: It makes a huge difference.

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Parimala Mathew
Parimala Mathew
@yellowduck564862 · Jan 11, 2026 10:16 am

If we’re being honest, the direction makes sense but the details are messy That’s just my read on it.