I think I need a lobotomy
I'm not even kidding, I think I'm genuinely unfixable. I've done therapy for years and they've tried like every type of therapy and nothing worked. I have tons of meds but they don't work as much as they need to. My psychologists don't even fully know what's wrong with me even tho I already have multiple diagnosis. They've pretty much already given up on me.
But it's not like I'm not trying because I always am. I've been open to every kind of treatment. There so much I want in the future, it's not like I've ever given up on life or haven't wanted to get better. I do sports and like 10 other hobbies and I spend time with my family and friends and I take care of my physical health. It's not like I'm a bedrotter or something, or like I lack the will to change. But it STILL doesn't work. And then people get in my face and have the audacity to say that's it's still my fault and that I'm not trying hard enough or that I don't want to change. That's what pisses me off the most. If I do everything possible then how can it still be my fault.
They just need to lock me in a room and never let me out again or genuinely lobotomize me. I hate myself and everyone else hates me too because I break
If you zoom out, this feels more about execution than intent