I feel useless
My entire life I’ve been overweight, it used to really bother me in like 7th and 8th grade, but i eventually learned to love myself for who I am and become the best version of myself just for me. I’m now in the absolute best shape in my life (I’m still definitely overweight but the improvement is visible) and recently I began taking some extra Physical Education classes to see just how much I’ve improved, and yet on every single run, I’ve come dead last. I feel all those years of self hatred rush back as I watch each of my classmates pass me by and I feel like all the effort I’ve put in has been for nothing. I’ll admit it’s not as bad as before, I used to feel like i shouldn’t even be alive, but the self hate is still there and I can’t see myself ever escaping it.
Wow, that's awesome you're crushing it!