Years of being unhappy
I am a 39 (f) with two boys, 18 and 11. I have been with my husband for 20 years and married for 18.
I'm going to throw a lot of info here for context so you can truly see where I'm at and why I need to get this off of my chest.
\- My husband was my first real relationship at 20. He was freshly 18 when we got together. I had a lot of childhood trauma where I avoided romantic relationships throughout my teen years. Sexual molestation from a male cousin from age 5 to 13, a narcissistic mother, and a lot of family drama. I just focused on school and being left alone mostly. I did have friends, but they weren't important. Once I graduated high school and got into college and started working, I did eventually lose my virginity, and I probably did it a total of 4 times before I got into a relationship with my husband. I was so very inexperienced and did not know what was good and what was bad.
\- We moved in together within the first month, and then I got pregnant within two months of us getting together. I have PCOS and was told it was a very slim chance I would get pregnant on my own. But they didn't explain that eating healthier and losing weight can cause ovulation to return. And it
It's heartbreaking to read about your years of unhappiness. Staying in a long-term relationship out of obligation isn't living your life authentically. You deserve happiness and fulfillment—maybe it's time to prioritize your well-being and reassess what you truly want.