Why telling someone your goals can either help or completely backfire depending on how you do it
There's conflicting research on whether sharing goals helps or hurts and I think I finally understand why both sides have valid points.
The studies that show sharing goals hurts come from a phenomenon called "social reality" where telling people about your intentions gives you a premature sense of accomplishment. You say "I'm going to write a novel" and the positive reactions make your brain feel like you already did something meaningful, reducing motivation to actually do it.
But other studies show that accountability massively increases follow through. People with scheduled check-ins complete goals at significantly higher rates than people working alone.
The difference I think is between announcing intentions versus reporting actions. Saying "I'm going to get fit" is an intention, it gets you social credit for something you haven't done. Saying "I worked out today, here's what I did" is a report, it only gets you credit for things you've already completed.
The first type lets you borrow satisfaction from the future. The second type only rewards you for the past. Completely different psychological effect.
So if you're going to involve others in your goals, probably better to share
This is such an interesting topic; I’ve seen it play out in both ways with friends. It really depends on the person you’re sharing with.