محیا زارعی

@bigwolf356950 · Jan 10, 2026 at 7:57 pm

I don't remember what my dad's voice sounds like.

What the title says.
I guess I should probably put a trigger warning here just in case, so TW: death, suicide, grief
Tldr/spoiler alert; my dad died, I can't remember his voice, and I miss him.
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My dad died suddenly, sometime before sunrise on what would have been his 45th birthday, when I was 16 years old.
Back then my mom woke up my sibling and I for school (I know we had alarm clocks but can't remember if we used them or not). It was normal for her to go to my room first (I'm older), then sibling's room, then do her morning routine. If she didn't hear us start getting going, she'd repeat her rounds. That morning though, she opened my door and came running into my room, shook me awake and said "op wake up I think your dad's dead!"
I don't remember how long it took me to process those words and assure myself it wasn't imagined or misheard or if I was even truly awake yet, but it was probably only a second or two. Minds are weird with time like that. I got to my parent's room down the hall and my mom wa